


Raise Me High And I'll Make You Fly

by kidney_bean



Series: Changed Times, Old-fashioned Love [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Betrayal, Civil War (Marvel), Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, F/M, Flashbacks, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, No Sharon/Steve, POV Second Person, Steve Rogers Is a Good Bro, basically a rewrite of Civil War but with slight changes as the reader is included, hints of stony, retired lfe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-20
Updated: 2020-05-23
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:00:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 16,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24290971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kidney_bean/pseuds/kidney_bean
Summary: True to your last conversation at Clint's house, Bucky and you have decided to move on from your life as Avengers to build a peaceful, quiet life together. You even get to adopt a cheeky white cat that seems to only have eyes for Bucky.After a year of living in the European countryside, everything falls apart when Steve shows up loaded with bad news.The start of a chaotic journey to prove both yours and Bucky's innocence shatters some friendships along the way. But Bucky and you are stronger together and you won't let anyone interferes between the two of you, whatever the cost may be.Civil War AU set after "Show Me Your Love (Before The World Catches Up)" so I definitely encourage you to read the first installment to understand the story better.
Relationships: Avengers Team & Reader, James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader
Series: Changed Times, Old-fashioned Love [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1752592
Comments: 2
Kudos: 53





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everybody! Quick note before you start reading this :)
> 
> Some moments will be heavy with actual dialogs of the movie but I tried to shorten the amount as much as I could by throwing the reader's lines in there as well.
> 
> I also tried to not use "Y/N" too often but sometimes I didn't have the choice so I strongly recommend you to install Chrome's exention "InteractiveFics" on PC which lets you change Y/N with the name of your choice and if you read on mobile, you can download the app Kiwi Browser and then download the extention bc honestly it's the best thing ever!
> 
> 2nd and last chapter is already written, just need to edit it and make a couple of changes and it'll be ready to be posted by the end of the week. 
> 
> Now, I hope you enjoy!

The sound of tires crunching gravel broke Bucky out of his concentration, making him freeze on the floor of your shared garage. Slowly putting down the wrench he was holding, he sat straighter and listened. As the car approached, he couldn’t recognise the engine. It was too subtle, too quiet. Modern technology. Advanced. The hairs on his arm stood on end, activating his fight or flight response immediately.

It wasn’t you. Your car was old and clangy, you had both decided to purchase it solely to tinker on and rebuild it together to occupy yourself. There was only one person Bucky knew possessed such luxurious and up-to-date _everything_ and the thought propelled him on his feet instantly.

Bucky grabbed the cloth in his pocket and scrubbed the grease off his fingers. He glanced down at his motorbike and waited for the other shoe to drop. Walking out of the garage, he warily watched the car park. _It’s your spot_ , he thought. Bucky stopped and waited, there was a pregnant pause as if the person inside the car sensed Bucky’s anticipation, and finally, they opened the driver’s door and stepped out. 

Steve’s form, even blurry from Bucky’s standing point, was more imposing than the smooth edges of the vehicule he emerged from. He slammed the door shut, the sound too loud and resolute for Bucky’s ear. As Steve made his way towards his friend, Bucky could feel something was off the moment he saw the small, forced smile stretching awkwardly on the Captain’s lips.

Bucky’s stomach dropped. His peace was about to be broken once again.

If Steve personally came to be the bearer of bad news, he knew Bucky wasn’t stupid enough to not feel something was wrong. He knew that he knew, this very endless loop of ridiculous thoughts was time both didn’t wish to waste. 

“Bucky.” Steve said in lieu of greetings. A genuine smile graced his lips for a second but disappeared as soon as it appeared.

That bad, huh.

Bucky nodded and took a deep breath. He exhaled slowly, trying to maintain the building panic rising in the pit of his stomach. Instead, his eyes landed on the car Steve arrived in. 

“Stark’s?” he asked, delaying as far as humanly possible the moment of knowing his ever-changing fate.

“Yeah. It’s Tony’s.” Steve quickly took in his surroundings, was he observing or assessing, Bucky wasn’t sure. “Yours?”

Shoving the oil-stained cloth back in his pocket, Bucky sighed. That’s not how he had imagined the reunion with his best friend to happen. Steve looked… changed. The past year had not been exactly kind to him, the fresh cuts on Steve’s face and neck would have been unnoticeable for an untrained eye but Bucky was as much a super-soldier as him. Their sights, hearings and skills were practically a match.

When Steve accepted the non-response from Bucky, he switched topic. “Where’s Y/N?”

“Out.” He looked up, their eyes meeting for the first time. “She should be back soon.”

“May I come in?” Steve tentatively asked. He looked almost shy, definitely feeling out of place. He knew he was intruding and he felt guilty, it was radiating from his body and Bucky felt sick.

“Are you here as my friend or as my executioner?”

Steve grimaced, his shoulders sagging in defeat. “Look, I wouldn’t have come if I had the choice. Did you see what happened?”

“I don’t know how your failed mission in Lagos has to do anything with us.” Bucky retorted.

When you had both found the house and moved in, Bucky made it clear that he didn’t want anything that could be traced back to you here. That meant no TV, no internet, no phones. You argued over this for the first few weeks, you didn’t care about the no TV policy but you proved your point that you at least needed a phone with internet connexion to keep an eye on the team. To catch up with the world even if the two of you had decided to remove yourselves from society. You didn’t regret that choice but you preferred to call it retiring. Since that week at Clint’s house, something in you had changed and Bucky and you had succeeded in building a life away from mayhem, from aliens, from blood and pain.

Later on, Bucky gave in. He always gave in when it came to you. You told yourself not to take advantage of it but everyday, a new side of Bucky unraveled in front of you and he, too, had come to change. 

As promised, he had given you everything. And even more. 

The only thing Bucky had asked was for you to keep the news away from him, and you did, he was content enough to stay oblivious. He had already a lifetime of chaos on his shoulders, now was for peace and quiet.

You kept a multitude of tabs open on the Avengers. You still followed their every move, made sure they were alright but this time, you were on the other side of the screen when before it was you who were the headline of every news articles or video channels.

A few days ago, you had showed him the report of what happened to the team in Lagos. Bucky reluctantly took your tablet as you handed it out to him and read the document. How you had come to get your hands on classified informations was something he learned not to ask. That night, he took his bike from the garage and drove mindlessly for hours. You had waited until the dead of the night for him to come back, worry gnawing at you. If Rumlow had survived and came back, who else was out there, HYDRA still in the wind, unsupervised and dangerous. Free.

Steve stepped in Bucky’s line of vision, a frown on his face.

“That’s not why I’m here, Buck.”

Bucky gritted his teeth and turned on his heels, opened the door of the house and left it ajar, a silent invitation for Steve to come in.

> **“FORMER AVENGER GONE ROGUE, AGAIN?”**

> **“WHERE HAS JAMES BUCHANAN BARNES BEEN FOR THE PAST YEAR?”**

> **“SUSPICIOUS DISAPPEARANCE OF ASSASSIN TURNED AVENGER ARISES QUESTIONS: ARE THE AVENGERS FIT TO ACT ON THEIR OWN ANYMORE?”**

> **“KING T’CHAKA OF WAKANDA RUSHED TO HOSPITAL AFTER TERRORIST ATTACK AT THE VIENNA INTERNATIONAL CENTER. SUSPECT IDENTIFIED TO BE CAPTAIN AMERICA’S BEST FRIEND.”**

> **“AVENGERS’ TIME OF GLORY REVOKED, THE SOKOVIA ACCORDS ARE THE ONLY SOLUTIONS FOR WORLD PEACE.”**

> **“DID THE WINTER SOLDIER ABDUCT AND MURDER OTHER AVENGER Y/N L/N? ARE THE AVENGERS KEEPING SECRETS FROM THE PUBLIC?”**

Bucky felt nauseous. The last headline was the last straw. 

He saw red. 

The device in his hand squeaked and Steve pulled the phone from Bucky’s clenching hand before he could snap it in half. 

“It wasn’t me.” he said numbly.

“I know.” 

“I wasn’t in Vienna. I don’t do that anymore.”

“I _know,_ Bucky.” Steve’s heart dropped at the sight of Bucky being completely helpless. “But the people who think you did are looking for you now. And once they find you, because they will, they're not planning on taking you alive.”

“That's smart. Good strategy.”

“We have to protect you, and Y/N.”

Bucky rubbed his hands on his face, feeling suddenly a bone-deep exhaustion coursing through his body. He got on his feet, the chair scratching the wooden floor harshly.

“I like it here. I haven't felt at peace with myself for a long time until now. I won't let anyone take that away from me."

His heart was racing, he gripped the backrest of his chair and clutched it so tightly it creaked under his metal hand.

Steve took a step in his direction, face apologetic, "I would never. I know what it means to you. But this guy wants to take everything from you.” Steve referred to the man in the pictures broadcasted on every international news platforms. "That's why I'm here. To stop him, to help you.” And after a beat, “To help you both." Steve clasped a hand on his friend's shoulder, squeezing it lightly. "She's the best thing that happened to you."

"I love her, Steve.” Bucky admitted quietly, just above a whisper. It was odd saying it out loud for the first time. “I knew what it would cost us to get here but I didn't think it would backfire so soon. If something happens to her because of me, I will never forgive myself."

"You have me in your corner. And Sam." at that, Bucky instinctively rolled his eyes. "And Tony." Steve added sheepishly.

Bucky turned to Steve, he noticed the slight change of color on his friend's cheeks but didn't mention it. Instead, he scoffed humorlessly, "Does he know?"

Steve wasn't sure at first what Bucky implied, visibly torn at the implication behind his friend’s words, his feelings clouding his focus but the dark look on Bucky’s face only meant one thing.

"About his parents? No. I haven't told him." Steve averted his eyes, "Does she?"

"Haven't had the courage to tell her either."

At Steve's silent response, Bucky swallowed hard, closing his eyes. "This whole thing is going to end badly."

"I won't let that happen, I swear--"

"Don't make a promise you're not certain you can keep, Steve. Just don't." Bucky took a few steps away from him, pacing in the kitchen. "I should have known it was only borrowed time."

“This doesn’t have to end in a fight, Buck.”

“It always ends in a fight.” Bucky answered flatly.

The heavy tension broke when your voice echoed in the foyer, the keys still jiggling in your fingers, both men startled by your sudden entrance. 

“Can your believe her turd cost us almost two grands? Her craps are more expensive than-- Steve?!” You stopped in your tracks when you caught sight of him. The white cat you were holding wiggled free from your arms and ran to rub herself at Bucky’s ankle.

“Hi.” Steve said at last but you didn’t register the word, you ears already ringing.

“Is everything alright?” you glanced back and forth between Steve and Bucky but Bucky seemed determined to avoid your gaze, eyes stubbornly fixed on the cat purring at his feet. You couldn’t miss the tension squaring his shoulders, his jaw locked and hands curled into fists. “Tell me everything.”

And Steve did.

You couldn’t stop shaking your head. You didn’t want to believe it. Shock, disgust and revulsion were churning in your stomach and Bucky’s unusual silence stung. 

“I have a plan.” Steve announced, determined.

“Of course you do.” You said. “But first, tell me something.”

Steve nodded and waited for you to speak.

“Why are you here alone if you have a plan?”

You were met with silence once again and saw Steve fiddling with the handle of his mug nervously.

“Tony signed the accords.”

“Great. Fucking excellent.” You grunted, “Who else?”

“Rhodes. Vision, King T’Chaka’s son -- T’Challa -- and… Natasha.”

“And the rest?”

“Still thinking about it.”

“Why didn’t you?” Bucky asked.

“You know why.”

“Once you sign that, you’re a caged animal and the government are the zoo’s visitors. They don’t care about freedom, they just want to control what they can’t have.” you said bitterly.

“That’s why I need you both to go to Secretary Ross and explain it wasn’t Bucky’s doing. The armed forces are looking for you, you’re lucky I found you first, I just had a head start.”

“No.” Bucky said curtly.

“Bucky--”

“I said no, Steve.”

Steve turned to you with imploring eyes, expecting you to help him reason Bucky. 

Sighing, you pushed the palms of your hands against your eyes, sensing a headache forming. 

“It’s not the worst idea.” You admitted, “Not doing anything can, sometimes, have the opposite effect one would want to happen. And running away is out of the question. We have to defend our-- Bucky’s innocence. We have to do something.”

Steve seemed relieved at your words, grateful to have you on his side but you knew Bucky will not want to declare himself outnumbered without giving a fight.

“It’s stupid and dangerous. Somebody wants to flush me out of hiding for some reason and you’re willing to let it happen?”

“You won’t be alone.” You told him, sitting next to him on the chair Steve vacated. “I’ll be here. You know I will never leave your side.”

You softly brought his metal hand in your lap and squeezed it, giving him a reassuring smile. He mirrored you but there was a hint of sadness there, the smile not exactly reaching his eyes.

Steve watched the exchange wordlessly, he still remembered vividly when you’d told him you wanted to quit. To retire and to take Bucky with you. He loved you as a sister, as a friend, but seeing your abrupt departure without giving any real explanation and no address, two of his closest friends vanishing overnight after what had had happened in Sokovia had taken a toll on him. He had never blamed you, or Bucky, it was a mutual decision but he had wished you would have let him stay in your life. 

Never he had seen it coming, your relationship with Bucky was without label, he had seen the two of you grow closer over time but he hadn’t given it much thoughts. Bucky was blaming himself for the gunshot wounds, that much Steve knew, but something had happened there, at Clint’s house. Something deeper Steve was unaware of. Something he couldn’t understand and which led you both to slip away. 

“Don’t push me away,” Steve blurted out. Now that he finally had you back in his life, he wasn’t prepared to let you go a second time. 

Bucky and you simultaneously looked up, “I can’t help you if you do. Again.” he added. “Nobody knows where you are, I figured it out a few months ago but I kept the secret like you asked me to. Because I owed you for when you helped me out with Bucky. You didn’t know him, yet you blindly put your faith in him because that’s who you are, a lot of things wouldn’t be the way they are if you hadn’t been there for us.

“I threw them off the trail every time Tony or Nat had a lead about your whereabouts. I respected your wish but now I’m asking you to trust me. I’ve lost too much already.” Steve briefly thought of Peggy and the funerals he attended just a few days ago. “I can’t lose any you.”

“We’re not exactly going to be welcomed back with open arms.” You said.

“It’s not important. I just want your safety. I’m not going anywhere until you agree.” Steve declared firmly.

“You don’t give up, do you?” Bucky said.

“Nope. Not when it matters.”

Bucky snorted and fondly shook his head. “Fine. Okay. I’ll go.”

Steve gave you a toothy grin and was already on his feet when you stopped him. 

“Wait, now?”

“We can’t waste anymore time.” He said. “We can discuss the plan on our way.” 

“We can’t leave like this, Steve. I need to make sure that Alpine finds somewhere to stay first.” You said, scratching the cat’s head gently in Bucky’s lap. She had a favorite and you were absolutely not jealous, that was something you repeated yourself half a dozen times a day.

“I think I know just the place.” Bucky said with a smirk.

* * *

You didn’t think you ever witnessed a child’s happiness that intensely the moment Lila saw you nor you ever heard such a high-pitched shriek of delight when you handed her Alpine. Laura had to repeat many times that she was going to stay only for some time and that Lila needed to let go of you because she would crush you in her fierce hug otherwise. 

Laura was pleased to see you, she had invited you in for some refreshments but you had to politely decline, the detour made to drop Alpine there was already threatening to mess up your already tight schedule. Her round belly was gone, leaving place to the baby boy hiding in the bundle of hand-knit blankets she was carrying. You had greeted hello the baby and given your congratulations to Laura. Nathaniel looked like Clint and you learned that they had decided to give him Wanda’s fallen twin brother’s name as middle name, a gesture of goodwill for saving her husband.

She promised to take care of your cat, Lila was more than happy to help and you were all different kinds of grateful. You saw Bucky kneel and talk to Alpine as if she was a human child, he kissed her little forehead and the gesture made you warm inside. Steve arched a brow and you had to stop yourself from bursting out laughing.

You bent down to hug Lila one last time. You had missed her, her kind and cheerful energy had been a joy to be around that week and you wished, one day, that you would be granted to spend some more time with her. 

Walking back to the car, you intertwined your hand with Bucky’s, feeling his worry, “She’ll be fine here. You had the idea, after all.” You whispered.

“I know. It’s just-” He shrugged himself off and you frowned.

“It’s what, Bucky?” You gently pressed.

“It’s like we’re never going to see her again.”

“What are you saying? We’re coming back for Al.” You said.

“If it’s in our power. If not…”

“Stop that.” You snapped not unkindly. You looked at Steve and asked, “Can you give us a minute, please?”

“I’ll wait in the car.” He nodded and strolled back to the car alone, shutting the door after him to leave you some privacy.

Bucky watched his friend walk away and turned to you, rolling his shoulders. “I have a bad feeling about this, is all.”

“I know you’re nervous. So am I. But you’re innocent and we can prove it.” You glanced at the Bartons’ house and took a moment to remember the feeling you experienced there a year ago. How you have discovered another Bucky entirely, how since then he had never left your side. But now, the old one was coming back and you loathed the idea of the walls you so carefully ripped down were going to build up again, made of steel this time. You didn’t want to lose this Bucky, the one you had learned to know everything about, the one you shared a bed with every night and made breakfast with every morning.

“Do you remember when I took a bullet for you? When I was bleeding out on these very steps there. I would have collapsed if it wasn’t for you holding me upright and you’ve done so since then.” You cupped the side of his face, “I’m not saying it lightly when I tell you I’d do it all again if it was to maintain what we built together.”

Bucky’s jaw dropped and looked at you with wonder and awe, he wanted to say so many things to you at once, the words stuck in his throat. So he did the only thing he could think of and leaned forward to kiss you. You allowed the kiss to linger a little, basking in the sensation even though you could feel Steve’s eyes on you. 

You broke the kiss first, smiling when you felt Bucky taking your hand back in his and leading you to the car. 

“I’m taking the back seat, I want to rest a bit.” You both slid inside the car and Steve was grinning, looking at Bucky on the passenger seat.

“Shut up, Steve.” He said.

“I didn’t say anything!” He replied, amused.

“I can hear your thoughts.”

You laid down on the back seat and closed your eyes, chuckling at the bickering in front of you. 

You meant every word, you _would_ do anything in your power to protect him and the unique friendship Steve and Bucky shared.

* * *

The journey to Berlin was exhausting, you all took turns to drive and you only dozed off a couple of hours in the back seat. The power nap had a great effect when it was your turn to drive while Steve was trying to rest, Bucky insisted to keep you company and you knew better than to try to dissuade him. He was too restless and anxious to even think about sleeping. You made small talk while you kept your eyes on the road and had the radio on on low.

You absently were listening to the music when Bucky turned the volume up slightly. You glanced sideways and caught his eyes, he was waiting for you to recognise the melody but you couldn’t put a name to it. Or even a memory.

“What is it?” 

“You don’t remember, do you?” He asked teasingly.

“Should I? You sound like you already know the answer.” You said quietly, you checked the rearview mirror but you couldn’t tell if Steve was asleep, he had his eyes closed and his body was in a weird angle, the car being too small for his ridiculously massive body.

“Last summer, one of the hottest days of August. You bought wine and insisted we drank, sitting on a blanket outside. You got drunk pretty quickly and you found this song, you wanted to dance and--” Bucky started to chuckle, the memory apparently dear to him.

“And what?!” You asked, already horrified at where the story was leading to. “Please don’t tell me I ridiculed myself.”

“You pulled me on my feet and you tried to waltz with me. You’re half my size but when you want something, you can be really stubborn. Except that you didn’t know how to dance so we just, you know, moved and rocked slowly until you blacked out in my arms. We slept there, in the backyard.”

Bucky started to laugh and it came back to you in waves. The hangover, the pouring rain waking you up, the soaking wet clothes… You groaned.

“Why did you let me drink that much in the first place, heat isn’t good for my alcohol tolerance and you can’t even get drunk!” You cried out.

Bucky ignored your protests and his voice turned soft and low. “I spent half the night making sure you were comfortable, I watched you dream and I knew, in that moment, that everything we did was worth it.”

You secured the wheel with your left hand and searched for Bucky’s hand with your right. Cold metal soothing your aching fingers after hours of driving. Bucky couldn’t take his eyes off of you, he was so afraid you were going to slip right through his fingers soon. If things were to turn south, he at least wanted to have every inch of your face memorized, something good to think about when he will be thrown in a jail and the key tossed in the deepest corner of the ocean. 

“You’re staring.” You said, unperturbed, and with the pad of your thumb still playing absently on the metal plates.

“I know.” He simply replied.

You spared a glance in his direction and couldn’t stop the heat rising in your cheeks.

"That’s rude to stare at a dame, Bucky.”

Steve’s groggy voice emerged from behind you and you wondered if he had been listening to the whole conversation.

Bucky flipped him off without even looking back and the three of you laughed.

You continued to drive, forbidding yourself to think about what was ahead.

A couple of miles before entering Berlin, Steve decided to make a stop before leaving the highway. 

“Does anybody want something to drink?” Steve declined but Bucky already had his cap secured low on his face, readying himself to come with you.

Getting out of the car, you stretched your legs, looking for a cup of anything warm and sweet to stimulate you back to life. Cold air hit your skin and you gorged yourself of the polluted yet fresh air filling your lungs. You felt Bucky staying close to you, anywhere you went, he wasn’t far off, calculating every possible escape routes and counting all exit points. 

As you inserted a couple of euros in the machine’s slot, paying for your drink, you could almost smell Bucky’s anxiety next to you. You kept your eyes on the questionable-looking liquid being poured in your plastic cup when you spoke,

“I don’t need a bodyguard, Bucky.” 

Bucky didn’t respond and when you called his name again and turned to him, you were only met with thin air. Frowning, you checked the store, your eyes scanning the perimeter for any sign of him. Nobody were paying attention to you, families were gathered, looking tired and irritated by their trip, business men glued to their phones, and not much else. But when somebody grabbed your arm, you startled. Bucky’s face was pale and grave, he pulled you toward him slightly and told you you needed to leave now.

“What’s happening?” Bucky started to drag you out as discreetly as possible but you stumbled, your legs almost giving out, too weak after hours spent sitting still. “Buck--”

“Please. Just do as I say.” The tone of his voice left little room for discussion as you made your way toward the exit, trying to remain calm. Your heart was hammering loudly, each person you passed by, you wondered if they could hear it.

That’s when you saw the threat. Two persons, a man and a woman, dressed in uniforms with the word “POLIZEI” taunting you on their backs. 

Bucky pressed his lips together in a thin line. 

You hated the feeling of having to act like a fugitive. You had done nothing wrong and regardless of what lies the medias were spreading, you were still both Avengers. 

“We’re getting out, but first, listen to me.” You pulled Bucky to you by his elbow and made him stop short. “Don’t rush outside. You know better than anyone how to make yourself invisible.” He gave you a nod and you found yourself giving him one in return, “I will buy something while you get to the car, that will leave us a short window of time for leaving but I need to make sure they haven’t seen us, first.”

“What if they recognise you?”

“It’s your face who’s plastered everywhere,” You said humorlessly. “And nobody knows we’re traveling together right now.”

“That’s why they think I murdered you.”

“Good thing you didn’t, then.” You didn’t wait for Bucky to answer your sarcasm and you steeled yourself, chasing after the police officers in a lazy stroll, faking interest in buying a magazine and whatnots.

You let out a breath when Bucky reached the car, face hanging low and hands shoved deep in his pockets. His back was tense, you could see it from here, he slipped inside the car in one smooth motion and disappeared from view, probably laying either on the back seats or the car floor. You kept a close distance to the duo rounding the store, your German was rusty but after a couple of minutes of listening intently to their back and forth chatter, Bucky’s name stayed unmentioned. The officers hadn’t even spared a glance anywhere close to you once, completely oblivious to your presence only a few feet from them.

When you finally took a proper look at what you had stacked in your hands while you had followed them, a shiver ran down your spine. You read in German:

> **_“JAMES BARNES AND Y/N L/N, FROM AVENGER PARTNERS TO PARTNERS IN CRIME?”  
> _ **

A picture of Bucky’s copy-cat was plastered at the center of the tabloid’s cover with a shot of your face attached to it at the bottom-left corner. Your blood turned cold and the coffee recently swallowed threatened to make a come back.

You’ve had enough. You made sure the officers had their backs to you when you left the store, every nerves in your body were on fire and you almost closed the short distance between the store and the car in a jog.

Slamming the door shut with a bit more force than necessary, Steve jumped minutely at your loud return.

“Doll?” Bucky asked from behind you still crouched.

“Let's go.”

Steve felt your anger and didn’t find anything to retort. He pushed a button and you were back on the road.

You crossed your arms over your chest protectively. The realization and the gravity of the situation punching you in the guts. You were feeling vulnerable, violated, upset and defenseless.

Not taking your eyes off the window, you asked, “So, what’s your plan, Steve?”

“Sam’s on his way. I wouldn’t be surprised if Tony, Rhodey and Natasha were already there.”

That made you flinch.

“What?”

“I asked you to trust me. I know somebody from the inside who could help us. She’s on our side.”

“And then what?” You asked, incredulous. “We ask for a private meeting with the board?”

“Then we tell them the truth. Tell them where Bucky and you were two days ago. Internet activity report, connections history, phone signal coordinates. Everything that could help.”

“They want our heads. They think I helped Bucky orchestrate the attack. We didn’t sign the accords, Steve, we have no juridistic protection.” 

“I don’t either.” He reminded you. 

“What did you tell Tony to make him lend you so _gracefully_ his car to come fetch us?”

“I might have told him if he helped me, I would sign the accords.”

“But you have no intention of doing so, haven’t you?”

Steve let out a sigh and after a beat, “I don’t know.” He answered truthfully.

You didn’t say a word for the rest of the journey, thoughts plaguing your mind, nagging at you relentlessly. Bucky had stayed cloistered in his mutism and you both waited. Prayed silently that Steve’s plan would work.

You didn’t know what to do if it didn’t, the idea too scary to broach.

Steve parked the car not long after you deserted the convenience store, the unfamiliar building didn’t let any clue as to what its occupation was. You hastily went out to open the trunk, slinging the bag containing the meager belongings you had brought with you on your back. Steve smiled kindly at the two of you and led the way. Bucky still hesitated, your hand found his flesh one and tugged him forward encouragingly with you. His palm was moist and he held your hand in a tight, painful grip but you didn’t say anything.

Everything happened too fast as soon as you stepped foot inside the hall. There was a brief silence, at first, the calm before the storm. And then, it happened. Quick as lightning, a row of armed soldiers surrounded you the moment you approached the reception area. They formed a barrier around you and raised their guns, aiming at you and Bucky. Bucky shoved you behind him, keeping his metal arm around you for protection.

A chorus of “arms in the air!” and “on your knees!” rose and echoed in the vast majority of the building, some employees panicked and fled, running as far as their legs could carry them. 

“Bucky, please, don’t fight back!” You pleaded. “Don’t kill anyone. It will make things worse.”

“I’m not gonna kill anyone.” He muttered and something flashed behind his eyes. He looked hurt.

You heard Steve’s voice somewhere among the commotion, you couldn’t exactly decipher what he was saying but another voice made its way to your ears, familiar and clearer than Steve’s.

“Congratulations, Cap. You’re a criminal.” Rhodey said.

An agent threw himself on Bucky and forced him on his knees. Another pair of arms grabbed you and separated you from Bucky. You watched, helpless, as they cuffed Bucky’s hands and hauled him back up on his feet, handling him harshly. You knew he was strong enough to break the restraints but Bucky humored them. They escorted him away, Bucky’s eyes never left yours until he was gone.

Saying you were enraged was an understatement. You weren’t put in cuffs or restraints but it was only a matter of time until they did, you thought. Everybody believed you were an accomplice, after all, you wondered why they hadn’t even shot you on the spot.

“Y/N.”

You turned your head and couldn’t bring yourself to look at your friend in the eyes. Rhodey waited for you to acknowledge him but you didn’t give him that satisfaction. Steve kept trying to snap you back to reality by apologizing over and over again but his voice was only vague noise underwater. Nothing made sense, waiting for the final blow was long and agonizing.

Footsteps hurried toward you and Steve left your side. 

“What's gonna happen to him?” He asked and that made you look up.

A man, middle-aged, half the size of Steve and a smug grin plastered on his face approached you. Your hands were itching to erase the smile from his arrogant face.

“Same thing that ought to happen to you.” He responded to Steve and then nodded in your direction. “And her. Psychological evaluation and extradition.”

“This is Everett Ross, Deputy Task Force Commander.” A blonde woman beside him said.

You narrowed your eyes at her. You knew her face but couldn’t pinpoint from where exactly. It didn’t matter.

“What about our lawyer?” Steve asked.

Ross chuckled. “Lawyer. That's funny. See their weapons are placed in lockup. Oh, we'll write you a receipt.”

“We don’t have any.” You said coldly. 

“Oh, she talks!”

“We don’t have weapons. We came here as allies, not as foes.”

“That remains to be seen.” He dismissed you. “You'll be provided with an office instead of a cell. Now, do me a favor, stay in it?”

A smaller group of armed men along Ross guided you to an office space downstairs. Natasha greeted you when the doors opened, her face impassive while she told Steve not to break anything while they fixed this. Tony was already there as well, too engrossed in a phone call to notice you just yet. You heard him talk about consequences. Your heart panged at the sight of him. You had no idea what would be his reaction when you would be face to face with him. 

Steve and you were placed in an office as promised but still under lock and key. What surprised you is that Sam was already in it when you arrived, his arrival probably triggered a chain of events, his presence alerting them you were not far behind.

His reaction when seeing you lifted your spirits up. He didn’t hesitate to pull you in a hug.

“It’s good to see you, Y/N.” He said, no traces of resentment in his voice.

“I would say the same under different circumstances.” You smiled weakly at him. “Thank you for coming. I’m sorry they got you, too, though.”

He bumped your shoulder with his slightly and offered you his chair. You declined, you were too worried to sit still, your hands were still shaking, so, instead, you paced the small room.

Tony hung up and sighed, his eyes landed and you and you swallowed thickly.

“Long time no see,” He said, “How’s domestic life?”

“Tony…” Steve took a step in his direction.

“No, no,” He raised a hand to stop Steve. “No good-byes. No note. No address. No _nothing!_ I’ve spent the last year wondering if I did something to wrong you and now you expect me to turn the other cheek?”

“I didn’t particularly expect you to.” You replied. 

Tony started to fidget with the cufflink of his shirt and you could tell how your unexplained departure had left him bitter. He didn’t care so much about Bucky, but you, you were his friend, his teammate. He had trusted you and today the trust had been broken. 

“Tony, I--”

He shook his head. “Secretary Ross wants you all prosecuted.” 

“I'm not getting that shield back, am I?” Steve asked.

“Wasn’t hard to find it. I don’t know how you made it fit in the trunk of my car.”

Natasha intervened, “Technically, it's the government's property. Wings, too.”

“That's cold.” Sam said without humour.

“Warmer than jail.” Tony added and both him and Natasha walked away, leaving the three of you in your makeshift prison cell. 

* * *

“Take a seat, Miss L/N.” Ross said, not standing up to greet you in his office. “Or would that be Mrs Barnes, now?”

You squinted your eyes at him and ignored the jab. “I’d prefer not to.” You arms were folded firmly across your chest and your chin help up high, you wouldn’t let him intimidate you.

“As you wish.” He gathered a pile of papers in his hands and placed them in a file. He let the silence stretch and intertwined his fingers on the desk, looking at you with a hint of disdain. “Do you have something to confess?"

“What makes you think I do? You arrested the wrong person.”

“This…” He quickly ruffled through a drawer, “Suggests otherwise.”

“And just like that, you think you have the right to keep us detained? You’ve got no proof, you’ve got no _rights--_ ”

“That’s where you’re wrong, I have the law on my side whereas you don’t.” He dropped the heavy manuscript and you read “ _THE SOKOVIA ACCORDS. FRAMEWORK FOR THE REGISTRATION AND DEPLOYMENT OF ENHANCED INDIVIDUALS_ ”. He had decided to play dirty. 

“Whatever you think is going to happen, you are far removed from reality. The attack was one thing, whether Sergeant Barnes did it or not is of no importance to me personally because I have him only seven doors locked from me, I have full access and all the time in the world to extirpate the information out of him. You, on the other hand, aren’t going to be so lucky. There’s only one outcome in this scenario and this is the one.” Ross pushed the accords toward you with a satisfied tap of his finger above the cover. “You can make it easy or you can take the wrong decision and make it unnecessarily difficult for you.”

You paused, the manipulation clear and he didn’t look ashamed of the fact. If anything, he looked rather proud of himself. “What are my options?”

“If you sign, we can make the last twenty-four hours legit. Barnes gets transferred to an American psych-center and you get cleared out.” Ross said.

“And if I don’t?” You asked.

“Prison would sound sweeter than where you’d be headed.” 

“How do I know I have your word if I sign?”

Ross’ face shifted, annoyance wearing him thin. “You wouldn’t. But the clock is ticking, Miss Y/N, and you and your boyfriend already used all of your privileges.”

You chewed on your lower lip, deep in thoughts. You took a step forward and picked up the copy of the accords and dropped it in the bin next to his desk. Ross sighed.

“Fine. Enjoy your time locked up. I hope you said your goodbyes with Barnes, it was the last time you saw each other.” He mentioned to the guards stationed at the door to escort you back to the office, not bothering to look at you when you left his office.

* * *

Time passed slowly after your _tête-à-tête_ with Ross. Minutes or hours, the fog in your mind hadn’t yet cleared. You stayed alert and on your feet the whole time, eyes fixed on the monitors in the control room. You were drawn to one screen in particular, the one that allowed you to watch the live feed of Bucky’s cell. In a light gray-walled bunker, Bucky's pod was installed, you could see his face through the glass and you hated it just as much as he did.

On the other side of the pod, the evaluator sat at a desk, facing Bucky while scribbling things down on a sheet of paper. 

The door of the office opened and you shifted, tearing your eyes away from the screen for a minute as the blonde woman you encountered earlier entered the room.

“The receipt for your gear.” She said, handing it to Sam.

“' _Bird costume_ '? Come on.”

“I didn't write it.” She shrugged and turned to you. “I didn’t have the time to introduce myself before. I’m Sharon Carter.” She told you and drew out her hand. You took it and you shook hands.

It all came back to you. “Would that be Sharon or _Kate_? I’m confused.” You said lightly. “Weren’t you Steve’s neighbor for a time?”

“She’s also Peggy’s niece.” Steve cut in.

“Well, now I’m even more confused.” Her face fell a little and you remembered Peggy had passed away only a week prior, you had read it in the news and you hadn’t had the heart to ask Steve about it. “I’m sorry for your loss. I wish I’d met her. Steve talked about her a lot, it’s like I knew her. I don’t think he did her enough justice in his tales, though.” You said sincerely.

She nodded her thanks, smiling slightly and you turned back to the monitor, focussing back on the broadcast.

Sharon circled the table and casually pushed a button which stopped the restriction on the audio from Bucky’s evaluation.

“I'm not here to judge you. I just want to ask you a few questions. Do you know where you are, James? I can't help you if you don't talk to me, James.” The man said, oddly insisting on using Bucky’s first name.

You narrowed your eyes. It made you feel uneasy.

“My name is Bucky.” Bucky said, his voice hoarse.

Warmth spread through your body. You had worked so hard with Steve to help Bucky recover his memories and figure out who he was and the man he once was. 

_Two years ago, Avengers Tower:_

_“He hasn’t left his room in over a week.” Steve told you one night, the two of you were in the kitchen, laptop and notebooks spread on the dinner table._

_“Leave him time, Steve,” you replied, scrolling down yet another website page for the fifth consecutive hour of the day._

_“I’m just worried.”_

_“I know. But he isn’t a scared deer caught in headlights. He’s a scarred man that needs his space.” You looked up at him, “We’ll find a way.” You promised._

_Steve bent down and checked what you had found. It was a webpage about the wife of a veteran with PTSD trying to coax him back into the world, slowly erasing years of servitude and horrors from his life. The ex-soldier had lost a hand. You found it fitting, and quite amusing at the odds but that you weren’t going to admit, and it made Steve raise a brow. You rolled your eyes and presented him the concreet list of what she had done to fight her husband’s demons while trying not to lose herself in the process._

_It was eye-opening for you, and quite frankly, frightening as well the more you read and plunged deeper into her story. It was nowhere near terrifying as what Bucky had lived under HYDRA’s control but it wasn’t a competition. Everybody reacted differently._

_“I know a place.” Steve suddenly said. He pointed to a line you had written and hope sparked in his features. “Well, I know a guy who could help him for the whole support group thing.” He dropped the notebook on the table and took out his phone. “And you know him too.”_

_”I do?”_

_“Remember Sam?”_ _He grinned._

_”Yes. Why?”_

_”He’s ex para-rescue but he also happens to lead support groups at the VA.”_

_“Did you attend?”_

_“Once. It was quite intense.” He frowned, fingers stilling above the screen of his phone._

_“What is it?”_

_“I will need your help.”_

_“Isn’t it what I’m doing already?”_

_“I’m asking a lot, I know. But I will need your help to convince Bucky to go there.” Steve sighed, the dark circles under his eyes matched your own._

_You grabbed his forearm to make him focus back to you. “I’ll try my best.”_

_“You’re a great friend, Y/N. I owe you.”_

_You waved him off and shrugged. “Don’t mention it.”_

_It took you weeks, but eventually, Bucky gave in. You had made a deal, you and Steve would come with him, stay for the entire meeting and you had agreed that whenever Bucky felt overwhelmed, he just needed to say the word and you would be out the minute after._

_The first couple of times were complete failures but you didn’t let that put you down. You had made a promise to Steve and you were determined to keep it._

_The third time you went to the VA, Bucky had managed to stay for the whole duration of the meeting._

_The fifth time, Bucky insisted on helping Sam to clean the room after everybody left and they shook hands as they parted ways._

_The tenth time, Bucky stood up and told his story._

_Sam became a friend to you and a mentor to Bucky._

_Around the fifteenth time, he asked Steve and you to let him attend alone. Steve reluctantly agreed, you had stomped on his foot so hard under the table that he had no other choice than give his friend a chance to have his own life beside the tower and to get to know other people than the team. You knew Sam would give you a report as soon as the meeting would end, either text you or call Steve._

_Bucky looked healthier after each passing day. He started to open up and even show up more frequently. This is when your nightly routine at the gym started. He was perhaps healing but the process required time and patience, his nightmares still clinging onto the last shreds of his past, refusing to let go._

In the bunker, the lights went out. 

In the office, all screens turned dark, the connection to Bucky lost. The room was also plunged in the dark a moment after, red and blue flashing brightly instead. 

“Great. Come on, guys, get me eyes on Barnes! Go!” Ross shouted in a walky-talky.

Steve, Sam and you all looked at each other, the worst possible outcomes already playing in your heads.

Steve blocked you from stepping out of the room. “You’re staying here. You’re too involved.”

“And you’re not?!” You snapped.

“It’s possible he wouldn’t be himself right now.” 

“I’m coming with you, Steve, now get out of my way or I’ll make you.”

“Come on, guys. We have to move!” Sam urged.

“Sub-level 5, east wing.” Sharon said without missing a beat.

You bolted out of the office, not forgetting your backpack as you made your way to the wing Bucky’s cell was located.

Steve arrived first outside the chamber, then Sam and you. Red emergency lights blinking all around. You shuddered at the sight of the many agents slumped on the floor, all of them out cold. It was Bucky’s doing and you were trying to understand what had occured in here. You saw the psychiatrist laying on the floor, calling out for help as he felt you entering the chamber.

Heaping inside the bunker, Steve grabbed the man and shoved him against the wall. You heard the loud thud echoing from where you where standing but the man didn’t even flinch.

“Who are you? What do you want?” Steve asked.

“To see an empire fall.” He glanced at something on the other side of the room and Sam had had just enough time to dodge the swing of Bucky’s fist to be able to push you hard enough to send you flying across the room. 

Bucky regained his balance quickly, grabbing Sam by the jaw and threw him at the open pod. Steve lurched into the fight and landed a punch which Bucky barely felt. He looked like he was in a trance, it terrified you.

Then you knew. Bucky’s fear at slipping away, to have the Soldier take control again was happening right before your eyes and there was nothing you could do to stop it. You had met the Asset once, right before joining the team, and this encounter almost ended in a bloodbath. Every fibre of your being pleaded to get out of here, that you almost didn’t make it the first time so the second time would be the ticket to finish the job he once started. But you wouldn’t abandon Bucky behind the weapon they turned him into, you needed to be here.

Bucky proceeded to kick and punch Steve out of the chamber. A punch from Bucky went through the elevator door as Steve ducked. Steve blocked the next one but the power of Bucky’s fist sent Steve tumbling into the darkened elevator shaft.

Being nowhere near as quick and the painful landing momentarily rendering you dazed, you groaned. Your muscles screamed and begged you to reconsider your course of action. Feeling already sore and still too weak to stand up just yet, you spotted Bucky stepping dangerously close to you. You couldn’t recognize his eyes, the lights in them were different. Cold, detached. 

You wouldn’t fight him. You would not inflict him pain when the Bucky you knew -- and loved -- was still trapped somewhere inside. The Soldier was perhaps a killing machine that you desperately wanted to get rid of but it was Bucky who would suffer the consequences. 

Propping yourself sideways on your right elbow to calm the ache of your left shoulder, he crept even closer and you braced yourself for the fight, closing your eyes, already accepting your fate. When nothing happened, you popped your eyes open and noticed Bucky had simply vanished. Sam came around and helped you back on your feet.

“Why the hell did you stay on the floor? He could have killed you!”

“I’m still alive, aren’t I?” You hissed, your shoulder was probably dislocated and with no way to take care of it just yet.

“I don’t exactly know why but don’t tempt your chance.” Sam replied, he spotted the doctor observing your exchange and when he saw Sam noticing him, he ran up the flight of stairs.

“Find Sharon, she’s the only one who can help us. Don’t go to Stark or Romanoff, they will throw you back in that cell!” 

Sam chased after the man and you took a deep breath, letting your Avenger training kick in again.

The building was a maze and every time you thought you were in the right direction, they were two steps ahead of you. Frustrated and in pain, you heard a crash above your head and your heart skipped a beat. Sharon, Tony and Natasha were nowhere to be found and you cursed under your breath as you found the stairwell leading to the rooftop helipad atop the building. You searched for Steve and Bucky but you found only half of the chopper destroyed and the other half sinking in the river below. 

Movements caught your eyes as you witnessed Steve emerging from the water, holding an unconscious Bucky against his chest to prevent him from drowning. Taking the same path but backward, you rushed to help Steve pull Bucky out. Blood was leaking from a wound on his forehead, proof of his apparent concussion. You gently pushed him to lay on his side, allowing his body to cough and reject the water from his lungs. 

You sat there, legs tucked under yourself as you brushed his wet hair out of his face with feather-light fingers. He didn’t stir and you waited for Sam to find you, Bucky was too heavy to carry for you even with Steve’s help. 

> * * *
> 
> **_“JAMES BARNES AND Y/N L/N, THE SUSPECTS IN THE UN VIENNA BOMBING ESCAPED CUSTODY TODAY. AVENGER CAPTAIN AMERICA AND SAM WILSON REPORTED MISSING.”_ **


	2. Chapter 2

In an abandoned warehouse, Bucky roused back to life, his metal arm clamped in a huge industrial vice. Grunting, he pressed his free hand against his eyes, the splitting headache beating wildly inside his skull. 

Sam was keeping watch over him while Steve and you peered through a gap at a chopper flying overhead.

“Hey, Cap! Y/N!”

Steve approached Bucky carefully while you stayed at the threshold, leaning wearily against the dirty doorway.

“Steve.” Bucky rasped. 

“Which Bucky am I talking to?” Steve asked warily.

“Your mom's name was Sarah… You used to wear newspapers in your shoes.”

“Can't read that in a museum.” Steve lit up at the words and his shoulders released some of its tension .

“Just like that, we're supposed to be cool?” Sam asked, not easily swayed.

“And you’re Sam… You used to be my counsellor at the VA. You cheated at a game of dart after my last meeting.”

“Of all the memories, you chose this one. Low blow, man!"

Bucky ignored him and tried to sit straighter when his eyes landed on you. Why were you standing so far away from him? Guilt and self-loathing twisted his insides, he curled his fingers into a fist and looked at you, his eyes pleading.

“Y/N.” He started, his voice wavering and your own eyes started to fill with unshed tears. “I’ve been in love with you since the day you hurt yourself trying to steal my food at Clint’s house.” 

You choked on a sob. Sam and Steve exchanged a look but you didn’t have the energy to feel anything but relief, numb euphoria spreading through your body.

“Steve, get his arm out of that thing.” You urged, wiping embarrassingly the stray tear running down your cheek.

“Y/N…” 

“I wasn’t asking.” You ignored the rising protests behind you and tried to lift up the vice yourself. It didn’t budge, your aching shoulder still too tender to apply much weight onto. 

Frustrated, you stepped back. Bucky was studying you, looking for injuries he might have caused but when he heard you wince, his hand grabbed your wrist, catching your attention.

“Did I do that?” He asked, his voice thin and low.

You absently rolled your shoulder, easing the pain as much as you could.

“No,” By the look on his face, you knew he didn’t believe you, thinking you were sparing his feelings. “Bucky, you didn’t hurt me.” You assured.

He averted his eyes, apparently at war with his mind. 

“What did I do?” He let go of your wrist and you glared at the two men standing with their arms crossed until one of them deigned to free Bucky from where he was kept.

“Enough.” Steve replied sternly.

When Steve kept his feet firmly planted where he was standing, a hard expression still on his face, Sam rolled his eyes and did the job himself. Two against one, Steve let Sam remove Bucky’s arm from the vice. 

“Oh, God, I knew this would happen.” You heard the plates of his arm shift, the wires furiously recalibrating. “Everything HYDRA put inside me is still there. All he had to do was say the goddamn words.”

“Who was he?” Steve pressed. 

“I don't know.”

“People are dead. The bombing, the setup. The doctor did all that just to get ten minutes with you. I need you to do better than 'I don't know'." 

“Give him a break, Steve.” You said.

Bucky stood up and squeezed your forearm softly, thinking it wasn’t worth fighting for.

“He wanted to know about Siberia. Where I was kept. He wanted to know exactly where.” Bucky continued, placing himself between you and Steve like a buffer.

“Why would he need to know that?”

“Because I'm not the only Winter Soldier.”

“What does he want to do with them? Create his own personal army?” You asked.

“The dude sure chose the perfect moment to act.” Same said. “This would have been a lot easier a week ago.”

“He wanted us unstable, divided. He’s smart, we have to give him that.” You thought, tilting your head.

“Who were they?” Steve asked, not taking his eyes off Bucky.

“Their most elite death squad. More kills than anyone in HYDRA history. And that was before the serum.”

“They all turn out like you?” 

“Worse.” Bucky grimaced.

“The doctor, could he control them?”

“Enough.” Bucky frowned, trying to remember.

“I overheard the psychiatrist say he wanted to see an empire fall.” You told him.

“With these guys he could do it. They speak thirty languages, can hide in plain sight, infiltrate, assassinate, destabilize, They can take a whole country down in one night. You'd never see them coming.”

“If we call Tony…” Steve started to propose. 

Sam and you glanced at each other, making a dubious face.

“No, he won't believe us.” 

“Even if he did...” Steve said but you stepped up to him.

“Even if he did, would he want to help? He looked at me like I was a stranger earlier. I think he thinks I betrayed him. He doesn’t trust me anymore, and Bucky even less.”

“And who knows if the Accords would let him help.” Sam interjected. You nodded in agreement.

“We're on our own.” Steve sighed, putting his hands on his hips.

“Maybe not. I know a guy.” Sam smirked.

* * *

You didn’t know it was possible to find a car more uncomfortable than the one Tony had given Steve, but Steve had clearly been able to prove you wrong. He had found the smallest getaway car you had ever laid eyes on and you had to find a way to squish yourself in, sharing the limited space among an ex-pararescue soldier and two super-soldiers. You would have fit perfectly if this wasn’t for their need for leg room and therefore, adjusting their seats which left you none for yourself.

The uncontrollable fit of laughter erupting out of you at the sight of three men crumpled inside the car had made you tear up, making you think of circus clowns trying to fit in a tiny car. It was the most ridiculous idea yet Steve made it work.

Sharon was stationed under an overpass, she was already there when you arrived and she, herself, couldn’t help but raise her brows in surprise at the odd choice of the car.

“Not sure you understand the concept of a getaway car.” She said when Steve stepped out.

“It’s low profile.” Was the only thing Steve found to retort.

“Good, because this stuff tends to draw a crowd.” She opened the trunk, revealing Steve’s and Sam’s gear. You mentally congratulated yourself for having put yours in your backpack, clutching it tighter against your chest.

You groaned quietly and wished for Steve to hurry up. You couldn’t feel your legs anymore, your back was stiff and you already had a cramp, the sensation still making the muscle of your calf throb for the last half hour. 

“Can you move your seat up?” Bucky asked Sam, sensing your discomfort.

“No.”

You rolled your eyes and felt Bucky’s left arm wrap around your waist, pulling you flush against his side. It gave you more space to stretch your legs sideways atop the free space of the backseat. You wiggled in his arm, finding a more comfortable position. Your head resting against his shoulder, your temple slotting itself in the crook of his neck.

“Thank you.” You whispered.

He kissed the top of your head and felt the small smile curling on his lips as a response.

Outside, you watched Steve and Sharon continue their conversation.

“I owe you again.” Steve said.

“Keeping a list.” You saw her glance at the direction of the car. ”You know, he kinda tried to kill me.”

You felt Bucky tense and you caged his hand firmly against your stomach, squeezing the metal reassuringly.

“Sorry. I'll put it on the list, too.” Steve made a face. “They're going to come looking for you.”

“I know.” Sharon replied, uncaring and took a step closer to Steve, then another. She leaned forward but Steve put his hands on her shoulders, gently pushing her away with an embarrassed smile.

“You’re a good friend, Sharon. I’m grateful for what you did for us, I really am.” He paused, his face was a spectacular shade of red and you grinned. Sam snorted in the front seat and Steve briefly threw a glance at him. You were sure he had heard it.

“But?”

“But I can't do that.”

Sharon nodded and studied him for a second. “But your heart is someplace’s else. Well, _someone else’s_.”

Tony’s face immediately flashed in your mind and you put the pieces together. Your jaw dropped.

Steve gave Sharon a semi-awkward goodbye hug instead and placed his and Sam’s gear in the impossibly minuscule excuse of a trunk, and you all took off in the direction of Berlin’s airport.

“Does Tony know?” You asked Steve, breaking the silence.

Steve’s lack of response was, in a way, enough of an answer.

On the sixth level of a parking garage at the Halle airport, Steve drove into the parking lot in the battered old car, he parked by a grey van and he got out. You couldn’t wait any further and freed yourself from the wheeled prison.

Clint greeted Steve and smiled brightly at you. You didn’t hesitate and wrapped your arms around him.

“So nice to see you. I’m sorry I missed you the other day.” He, then, nodded at Bucky. “Lila has been chewing my ear off about you since you showed up. She lives and breathes solely for your cat.”

The mention of Alpine made you all kinds of emotional and it somehow gave you a renewed boost of energy. “I can’t thank you enough for taking her in.”

Bucky himself was smiling faintly.

“You know I wouldn't have called If I had any other choice.” Steve said.

“Hey man, you're doing me a favor.” Clint shrugged. “Besides, I owe a debt.”

“Thanks for having my back.” 

“It was time to get off my ass.” Wanda said. 

Wanda and you had a rocky relationship to start with, you weren’t exactly the best of friends but you two had been content enough to tolerate each other during and after the events in Sokovia. You had managed to get on her good side after Wanda’s brother had died. You had left soon after anyway.

“How about our other recruit?”

“He's rarin' to go. Had to put a little coffee in him, but…” Clint slid the door of the van open, revealing somebody you didn’t recognise. “He should be good.”

“What timezone is this?” He said, blinking the sleep out of his eyes.

He shook Steve’s hand with an amazed look. “Captain America.”

“Mr. Lang.” Steve remained unphased by the excitement of the stranger, clearly used to have this effect on people.

“It's an honor. I'm shaking your hand too long. Wow! This is awesome! Captain America.” Mister Lang then did something you didn’t see coming, he leaned forward and felt Steve’s shoulders, shamelessly groping the muscles there with a satisfied lopsided smile. You choked, covering your mouth with your hand to stifle your laughter. 

He turned to Wanda next. “I know you, too. You're great!” He said, his apparent excitement not diminishing. If anything, it increased when he noticed you. “Oh, my God.” His finger pointed at you. “You’re my daughter’s favorite!” then pointed himself. “I’m Scott.”

“Kids tend to love me for a reason that escapes me.” You remarked. Clint gave you a knowing look.

“Jeez. Ah, look, I wanna say, I know you know a lot of super people, so... thanks for thinking of me.” Scott babbled at an incredible speed, was he always like this? That must be exhausting for both himself and the people around him.

“Is he alright?” You asked Sam, amused. “I feel he’s going to faint any minute.”

Sam snorted, his shoulders shaking.

“Hey, man!” Scott finished his lengthy greetings, waving at Sam last.

“What's up, Tic Tac?” Sam teased.

“Uh, good to see you. Look, what happened last time when I...”

“It was a great audition, but it'll... it'll _never_ happen again.”

 _Interesting._

“They tell you what we're up against?”

“Something about some... psycho-assassins?” 

“We're outside the law on this one. So, if you come with us, you're a wanted man.”

“Yeah, well, what else is new?”

“I’m sorry, who _exactly_ are you?” You couldn’t help but ask. 

“We should get moving.” Bucky said, not leaving you the time to get an answer to your question.

“We got a chopper lined up.” Clint declared.

 _“Dies ist eine Notsituation. Alle Passagiere müssen den Flughafen sofort evakuieren.”_ German echoed in the parking’s airport and without thinking, you looked up at the voice.

“They're evacuating the airport.” Bucky told everybody. 

“Stark.” Sam said.

“Stark?” Scott’s face fell.

“Suit up.” Steve said, final.

Your backpack felt heavy on your shoulders, bracing yourself for the clash. You let it slip from your back and opened the bag, searching through the content. You handed Bucky his own gear and you grabbed your old suit. Something fell from within the confine of the bag, landing miserably at your feet.

Frowning at the book, you picked it up carefully. The edges were worn out, the pages fading to a yellowish color between the numerous small colored tabs sticking out from absolutely everywhere. You bit your lip and considered leaving it unopened. It would be a breach of Bucky’s privacy and you weren’t sure you wanted to know what was hiding inside. 

Curiosity got the better of you and you opened it at a random page.

The page was covered by a visibly old article in a foreign language reminiscing Steve’s return seventy years after his disappearance. The next few pages where pretty much the same as you quickly shuffled through. Toward the middle of it, your name started to pop-up more frequently. Bucky’s scrawl was hasty and to the point. Sometimes, you couldn’t decipher what language he was writing in but you recognized some names along yours. Steve’s was majorly mentioned, sometimes Tony’s, a few times the rest of the team. 

There were articles and pictures clipped to some pages. Pictures from newspapers you’ve never seen before, taken mid-battle or paparazzi shots, stealing private moments. Close to the end, there was less and less scribbling and mostly polaroid pictures. 

In the early days after you had moved in the house, you had bought a polaroid camera and you had wondered where it went a few weeks after, turned the house upside-down searching for it. Bucky apparently had gotten his hands onto it and sorting through the dozen different shots of your house, of the backyard, of Alpine and of you. 

You smiled fondly, the pictures were nowhere near artistic but they were authentic, raw and real. Bucky had succeeded to never awaken suspicions from you, you were either facing away or in the middle of an activity to be remotely aware of the camera pointing at you. Reading, cooking, sleeping, gardening. Bucky had managed to make you look beautiful in each of them.

Going back a few pages, you were met with heavy chunks of writing accompanied with a date and an abundance of question marks circling it. 

_??? December 16th, 1991 ???_

And underneath:

_Howard and Maria_

“Y/N?” You didn’t hear Bucky calling your name, white noises ringing in your ears as you scanned the page, looking for an answer. “Y/N?!”

Bucky found you standing impressively still, your face inscrutable. The notebook was open in your hands and Bucky swallowed the lump in his throat. You weren’t supposed to see that.

You didn’t hear him approach either, he simply pried the notebook from your fingers delicately as to not startle you and slipped it inside his jacket.

“You should get changed.” He told you, there was no trace of anger in his voice but you could perceive a hint of… fear? As if you would snap at any moment caused by whatever discovery you’ve just made.

“Yes. Right. Um…” You cleared your throat and went to the van, sliding the door shut after you to change into your old combat suit.

You made a quick affair of discarding your civilian clothes and putting on your suit. It still fit like a glove. 

Satisfied, you joined the rest of your team, not entirely ready to fight the other part of who was once your family. You prayed it wouldn’t end in a bloodbath, wishing that if there was still a part of them that had you held in their hearts, they would change their minds. 

* * *

Natasha was waiting for you in the hangar. She was the last remaining barrier between the Quinjet and your ticket to freedom. She eyed the three of you slowly, face stoic.

“You're not gonna stop.” She stated.

“You know I can't.” Steve shot back, determined.

“Natasha, please.” You weren’t afraid to beg, she was your friend once. You hoped she still was.

Natasha let out a sigh. “I'm gonna regret this.” She raised her arm toward you and sent a beam of electricity. 

You gasped but the pain never came.

You turned your head, checking where she aimed at. _Who_ she aimed at. Natasha had stunned T’Challa who had arrived soundlessly behind you. 

“Go.” She urged as she kept T’Challa at bay.

The boys started to run but you didn't move, Natasha sent another beam and cocked her head at you, "Thanks you, Nat. I'm--" 

"I know, Y/N." Her face softened, "I hope I didn't hit too hard."

A grateful smile grew on your face and you both exchanged a nod as your ran after Steve and Bucky. 

Steve flew the Quinjet toward the mountains, punching in coordinates on the control board. Bucky sat behind him while you inspected the Quinjet for medical supplies. You found an anesthetic injection and you let out a quiet moan when the needle pierced your skin, the liquid ran through your veins and your shoulder, and limbs immediately ached less. You could finally breathe properly, your bruised body sore after a quiet year without having to fight for dear life.

“What's gonna happen to them?” You heard Bucky ask.

Steve stared ahead, heavy-hearted. He sighed and shook his head. “Whatever it is… I'll deal with it.” 

Bucky looked thoughtful. “I don't know if I'm worth all this, Steve.”

He glanced around at Bucky. “What you did all those years… it wasn't you. You didn't have a choice.”

“I know. But I did it.”

Your heart constricted at the words but you let the boys have a moment between themselves. 

Steve kept his eyes focused on the darkening sky ahead of him and Bucky walked away, sitting beside you on the Quinjet’s floor. 

“Are you okay?” He asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

“I think so.” You gave him a tired smile. “Are you?”

He nodded. You didn’t buy it but it was fine, he didn’t have to be alright all the time.

“I know it’s not the perfect moment for this but I gotta ask,” Bucky tensed but there was no easy way to ask this. “Is it true you killed Tony’s parents?”

“It’s like I watched it happen from a different perspective, like… like when you watch a movie or telling someone else’s story. You know it’s not _you_ who did it but you still remember it.”

You let his words sink in, the weight of them gradually finding a new spot on your shoulders.

“I didn’t mean to look. I shouldn’t have, it was something private and I crossed a line. I’m sorry.” 

“Doll, look at me.” When your eyes met his, he continued, “There’s absolutely nothing you could ever do wrong. Not by me.” He placed a stray strand of hair behind your ear and his eyes studied your face intensely for long seconds before settling on your lips. He brought up his thumb and softly brushed the pad on your split-lip.

You closed the distance and pressed your lips against his. After all this time, you still felt as if you were kissing him for the first time, each kiss, each embrace unique and nothing like the last. Bucky used his hand cupping your face to pull you closer to him, his palm traveling to reach the nape of your neck to deepen the kiss. The stubble on his cheek burning your already sensitive, bruised skin. The wound on your lip reopened, causing to taste copper on your tongue and you were pretty sure Bucky could, too, but his lips didn’t relent and you melted further into his arms. 

You heard Steve clear his throat, scratching the back of his neck as he looked at something near his feet. The tip of his ears were a lovely pink and he kept his voice leveled when he spoke, “I’m very sorry to interrupt but, um, we’re here.”

Bucky rose to his feet and outstretched his hand for you to take, helping you up. 

“You had an opportunity for a kiss earlier, Cap. It’s not my fault if you didn’t take it. Sharon is a very respectable woman.” You said.

“She’s out of my league.” 

“And Tony isn’t?” Steve looked at you, clearly taken aback. “A shame, I heard he broke up with Pepper.”

Steve put his helmet back on. You stopped the teasing when he faced away from you, visibly uncomfortable. You guessed he had never told his feelings for Tony to anyone, keeping them buried. But there was so much one could hide in plain sight before the inevitable happened.

The signs had been there all along, how could you have been so blind?

“Do you think if you had told Tony how you felt, things would have turned out differently?” 

Steve stayed quiet. You were sure he was going to completely ignore your question until you heard him trying to cover up a sniffle with a cough. “We’ll never know now.”

You clasped his upper arm gently. “It’s not too late, Steve.” 

“For me, it is.” 

Steve brought the Quinjet into land next to the caterpillar truck who was waiting for you on the remote, icy mountain top. The jet’s wings folded up beside the fuselage.

On board, the boys got ready. Bucky pulled out a rack of guns labeled after Natasha’s name, taking a light machine gun and handing you one as well. Bucky and Steve stood together, waiting for the exit ramp to descend while you pocketed spare ammunitions then checking for anything else that could be useful. You had no idea what was waiting for you there and you preferred to take more than necessary rather than having to back down and possibly, being killed. That wasn’t an option.

“You remember that time we had to ride back from Rockaway Beach in the back of that freezer truck?” You hid a smile, feigning being busy while you fiddled with a borrowed belt from Natasha’s locker around your hips.

“Was that the time we used our train money to buy hot dogs?” Bucky teased back.

“You blew three bucks trying to win that stuffed bear for a redhead.” Steve slipped his thumb in his belt, challenging back.

 _Now_ that interested you.

“What was her name again?”

“Dolores. You called her Dot.” Steve answered without missing a beat.

You let out a low, unimpressed whistle. “‘Dot’? Really, Bucky? Were you trying to flirt or make her run away?”

“Seventy years ago, it worked. Apparently.”

“You just needed to show your face and girls would appear like flies smelling honey.” Steve chuckled.

“Wow,” You placed a handgun in your thigh holster, “Do I have some competition I wasn’t aware of? Do I need to sharpen my knives?” You said, laughing. 

“She's gotta be a hundred years old right now.” 

“So are we, pal.” Steve reminded him, clasping his hand on his shoulder.

The three of you walked up to the entrance set in rock. The door was still open. 

“The invitation seems clear enough.” You said, tightening the grip on your gun.

“He can't have been here more than a few hours.”

“Long enough to wake them up.” Bucky stated. 

Steve led you into the cast bunker. You traveled down into the depths inside a caged elevator, it stopped in the bowels of the bunker, door sliding open. Steve nodded at Bucky, then at you, and heaved up the cage door. Bucky readied his heavy duty machine and you walked along a corridor, keeping close to a wall. Bucky looked into an alcove full of junk then he and Steve moved up some stairs, you following close, looking behind your shoulder every so often. At the sound of a loud thud you fully spun around, Bucky aiming down the corridor while Steve stepped in front of you, shield covering half of your body.

“You ready?” Steve asked quietly.

You took a deep breath, nodding.

The double doors in front of you parted, forced open by Tony in full armor. You stared in surprise as Tony approached, retracting the suit’s helmet.

“You seem a little defensive.” Tony joked.

“Can’t blame us,” You replied, voice low.

Bucky kept his gun up while Steve walked up to meet Tony, shield still held in place. 

“It's been a long day.”

“At ease, Soldier. I'm not currently after you.” Tony said to him. 

“Then why are you here?” Steve asked on the defensive.

“Could be your story's not so crazy. Maybe. Ross has no idea I'm here. I'd like to keep it that way. Otherwise, I gotta arrest myself.”

“Well, that sounds like a lot of paperwork.” Steve lowered his shield. “It's good to see you, Tony.”

“You too, Cap.” He eyed Bucky. “Hey, Manchurian Candidate, you're killing me. There's a truce here. You can drop…” You put a hand above the gun until Bucky reluctantly let you lower it down.

Tony nodded gratefully and the group of you cautiously continued your trek along the corridor. The silence was heavy and quite frankly, uncomfortable as you went on. Tony hadn’t spared another glance in your direction, didn’t even say a word to you since that moment in the office. You desperately wanted to say something to him, explain yourself, but you were convinced he wouldn’t listen nor understand. 

With his helmet and face plate reengaged, Tony took the lead toward the enormous chamber with the capsules standing in it. He stopped.

“I got heat signatures.” He said, his voice slightly distorted by the helmet.

“How many?”

“Uh, one.”

You frowned, something twisted in the pit of your stomach.

As you entered the vast, cold chamber, the lights came on. Hazy, yellow mist descended within the capsules, each one contained an enhanced soldier from the experiment. 

You looked around, bewildered.

“What's this?” You said.

A voice, accented, rose from hidden speakers. You instantly recognised it.

“If it's any comfort, they died in their sleep.” The doctor said. Bucky stared at the corpses and you noticed a bullet hole freshly pierced in each of the soldiers’ forehead. ”Did you really think I wanted more of you?”

“What the hell?” Bucky said and you two shared a look of disbelief.

He and Steve continued their exchange but you couldn’t pay attention to them anymore. You turned away from the capsule but everywhere you looked at, there was another one standing, the cryo freeze keeping their bodies inside instact. 

The man clicked his tongue. “I lost everyone. And so will you.” He played a surveillance footage from December 16th, 1991. Steve stepped to the screen. “An empire toppled by its enemies can rise again. But one which crumples from within? That's dead… forever.”

You recognized the date displayed on the small screen, the letters almost making you sick with dread. You grabbed Bucky’s elbow tightly.

“We shouldn’t have come here. It was a bad idea.” You told him, keeping your voice down.

Tony looked at the freeze frame of a secluded road and the date. His eyes roved anxiously. “I know that road. What is this?”

As the video played, Tony grew agitated. You watched him watch the screen. The horror in his eyes was obvious and you felt Bucky’s increasing unease as well. Tony glared at Bucky and instinctively, you took a step in front of Bucky. In the video, the Winter Soldier was pounding Howard hard in the face with his metal fist. In his grief, Tony closed his eyes for a short moment.

You watched the screen as Tony’s father slumped dead. The Winter Soldier put him in the driver’s seat with his face against the steering wheel. His mother, Maria, was in the passenger seat with blood streaking down her face. The Asset circled the car and gripped her throat. Expressionless, he strangled her until he choked the life out of her. The video ended as Bucky positioned himself under the surveillance camera and aimed at it with his gun, firing.

Steve kept his eyes on Tony all along, face grave. He was about to speak when Tony tried to lunge himself toward Bucky. Without hesitation, you raised your gun and aimed at Tony as a warning, stopping him instantly.

“It won’t solve anything, Tony.” You said. You didn’t have your finger on the trigger but the message was clear enough for Tony. "He's playing with us, can't you see it's exactly the reaction he wanted?" 

Steve calmly called Tony’s name, bringing his attention to him instead of Bucky.

Consumed with grief and fury, tears glistering in his eyes, he turned to look defiantly at Steve.

“Did you know?”

“I didn't know it was him.” Steve lied.

You cringed, Steve was a terrible liar and you cursed him silently for making the whole thing worse than it already was.

“Don't bullshit me, Rogers! _Did you know?_ ” Tony asked again, no longer patient.

Steve swallowed hard. “Yes.”

Tony stepped back, twitching, his chin jutting upward. Betrayal heavy in his features.

His eyes found yours.

“And you?”

“I’m sorry.” Was all you replied.

Everything turned downhill from here. Tony punched Steve to the floor, shielding himself back into his Iron Man helmet. Tony ignored your gun still pointed in his direction and deflected the bullet from Bucky beside you, disarming him. Iron and metal clashed as they fought. Helpless, you witnessed Tony grab and fly him across the chamber. He slammed Bucky onto the floor while Steve shield-hit Tony, distracting him enough for you to run to Bucky and drag him up urgently, there was no time to lose. Steve barged him backward, Tony shouldering him to the floor and shackling his ankles. Bucky punched, and punched, but Tony could work with his surroundings better. He raised a fist, Bucky twisting it to dodge the blow but a rocket shot out of Tony’s arm suit. A fireball exploded, the structure of pipework starting to collapse. You, Tony and Bucky were thrown down a level as twisted metal fell around you, showering sparks.

“Get out of here!” Steve yelled at you and Bucky.

As the two of you bolted out of the chamber, Tony fired, but missed, the beam landing inches from you. Bucky hit a control panel and the silo-styled door overhead started to open. It was your only way out and you needed to get up here fast.

Bucky helped you leap from platform to platform. You were slowing him down but he refused to let you here, he jumped on the platform above you and drew his hand out to you, you grabbed it and he easily picked you up with his metal arm. Underneath you, Tony gave chase with stuttering jets, Steve must have damaged one during their altercation. Tony took aim but the energy bold rebounded off Steve’s shield onto himself as he placed himself in front of you right on time. Tony dropped like a stone and landed on a lower platform, his equipment only half functioning. 

“He's not going to stop. Go.” Steve said breathlessly.

As Tony soared upward, Steve leaped and shot a wire which wrapped around Tony’s neck and dragged him back down, leaving you little time to flee. Tony unfortunately deflected Steve’s shield by throwing a small rocket at it, miserably falling down past Steve and on the ground, out of reach. 

Stubborn, Tony rose up, determined to target Bucky once again. Aiming successfully at the opening hatch, the giant hinge exploded, cutting yours and Bucky’s escape route and flying up, he grabbed him in a chokehold.

“Do you even remember them?” Tony asked, voice dangerously low.

“I remember all of them.” 

Bucky pushed them both from the walkway, Steve jumping into them to divert their fall. Bucky landed on a platform mid-fall while Tony and Steve landed further down on the concrete floor beside the opening in the wall where snow drifted in from outside. You pushed yourself on your feet, your shoulder screaming in protest after having landed a second time on it that day. You did your best to extricate yourself as quickly as you could from the many platforms until you found Bucky’s. He was still laying on his side, the wound on his forehead reopened and fresh blood mixed with dried blood caked in his eyebrows. 

“Bucky…” 

“I’m fine.” His voice was thin and he grunted.

“I should have listened to you. I thought we could have proved them you weren’t the person everybody thinks you are. I was so wrong.” 

“It was a trap all along and we stepped right into it.” He stifled another groan when he got up. “It’s not your fault.”

A loud blast echoed from downstairs and you rushed to help Steve. Both Tony and him were trading punches when you arrived, Tony ending up pinning Steve down. You acted immediately, throwing yourself at Tony, trying your best to make him lose his balance atop Steve. Tony redirected his attention toward you and you exchanged punch after punch, the metal painfully connecting with your flesh multiple times and splitting the delicate skin of your knuckles. Bucky picked up Steve’s shield and leaped down to help. Steve took over you when, panting, you fell to your knees. As the two super soldiers fist-fought with Tony, you watched the shield change hands between them until Tony managed to zap Steve who was thrown into the wall.

You felt blood running down your nose and on your temple, coating your hair. Your thighs quivered when you tried to stand up, gathering the last of your strength.

Bucky struggled to hold Tony at bay as he unleashed an energy beam which, in the frenzy of the situation, hit you right at the center of your chest.

Time stopped for you. Your ears were ringing and white hot pain smeared in your body. Never before you were at the receiving end of Tony’s weapon, you shook violently on the concrete floor, feeling the air knocked out of your lungs.

Bucky glanced at your unresponsive body, laying bleeding and bruised there, alone. Pure rage seized him and forced Tony against the opposite wall, gripping the glowing core in the chest of his Iron Man suit, source and cause of your downfall. His metal hand dug into the suit, cupping shallowly the core, Bucky almost ripping it out of him with an anguished scream that would haunt you for a long time. 

You eyes were closing on their own accord, you needed to find a way to stay awake, you couldn’t pass out, not when a blast of energy knocked Bucky down, his metal arm completely blown away. Tony zapped him again and Steve finally rushed with his shield up, ready to strike, when Tony fired right back at it.

The beam bounced on the shield, creating a bridge between Tony’s hand and the vibranium. The glow was too bright, you weakly shielded your eyes with your hand and started to crawl blindly on the ground toward Bucky.

His face was as equally covered in blood as yours and his eyes were wide, alert. For the first time since you met him, he looked afraid. Bucky was breathing heavily, taking rapid intakes of breaths, you could tell he was on the verge of having a panic attack. Steve and Tony were still fighting, you knew Bucky wouldn’t be able to hear anyway, his mind caging him in an uncontrollable spiral of terror but you cupped his face gently in your hands and shushed him, making him focus on your face. His broken arm was sending sparks of electricity toward you, wires hanging out, you did your best to avoid getting electrocuted and holding your broken ribs with your arm, you straddled Bucky to shield him with your own body. It took the last of your energy but Bucky was defenseless and wounded, you were willing to die if it was the cost to protect him.

"I love you." You mouthed at him. You wished you would have been able to tell him the words in a different context but if it was the end, then it was finally time for Bucky to get his response.

Bucky gasped, shaking his head when the fog in his mind cleared, starting to understand what you were trying to do. You unbuckled the gun in your thigh holster and took a deep, controlled breath. 

“He's my friend.” Steve said.

“So was I.” Tony replied. He punched Steve hard and threw him back toward the gaps in the wall. “Stay down. Final warning.” And turned to you in search of Bucky.

Tony was greeted with the barrel of your gun aiming right at his arc reactor.

“I’ve missed you, you know.” He told you. “I tried so hard to understand.”

“I’m sorry, Tony.” Your eyes filled with tears.

“Are you? Are you, really?” Tony said, visibly upset and hurt.

“I didn’t want it to be like that. To end like this. You are my friend, you’ll always be and I hope someday you will find within your heart the strength to forgive me.” You said and squeezed the trigger.

Tony stumbled backward and collapsed. The bullet reached the core and disarmed Tony’s suit. It didn’t kill him. You meant it, he was your friend. You had simply put a stop to his madness.

Your world had been turned upside-down in the span of a week and you’ve had enough. A sob escaped you as you let the tears break free, the last few days finally taking a toll on your mental. 

You pressed your face against Bucky’s chest and you cried, and cried, and cried. Letting go of all the pain and anxiety that was clinging to you. You felt his hand brush your injured shoulder and ran his fingers into your hair, soothing you until your sobs turned into labored breaths only.

“It’s over, Doll. You’re okay. We will be okay.” He said, his voice hoarse.

You hated that Bucky had to comfort _you_ , it was supposed to be the other way around.

Steve wrapped his free hand around your waist and hauled you up, steadying you on your feet, he then reached down to do the same with Bucky, placing Bucky’s flesh arm around his shoulders to maintain him upright while you clutched Bucky’s side to support yourself.

“That shield doesn't belong to you.” Tony said. Steve turned back. “You don’t deserve it. My father made that shield!” Steve stopped, raised his chin then dropped the shield, walking away. 

Glancing back, you watched Tony struggling to sit up. It was the last time you were going to see each other for a long time. 

* * *

_“Tony, I'm glad you're back at the compound. I don't like the idea of you rattling around a mansion by yourself. We all need family. The Avengers are yours, maybe more so than mine. I've been on my own since I was eighteen. I never really fit in anywhere, even in the army. My faith is in people, I guess. Individuals. And I'm happy to say that, for the most part, they haven't let me down. Which is why I can't let them down either. Locks can be replaced, but maybe they shouldn't. I know I hurt you, Tony. I guess I thought by not telling you about your parents I was sparing you, but I can see now that I was really sparing myself of the possibility of you rejecting me, and I'm sorry. Hopefully one day you can understand. I wish we agreed on the Accords, I really do. I know you're doing what you believe in, and that's all any of us can do. That's all any of us should… So, no matter what. I promise you, if you need us, if you need me, I'll be there.”_

“‘ _Sparing myself of the possibility of you rejecting me_ ’?” You read out loud.

“Too much?” Steve asked. “It was you who once told me it wasn’t too late to let him know.”

You scanned the letter again, “I just don’t think it fits in there.” 

“What would you have me do, then?”

“I don’t know. I think this is enough.” You pointed at the burner phone next to the unsealed package.

Sighing, Steve took the letter again and crossed the line out. “Any other suggestions?”

You gave him a small smile and patted his hand affectionately with your right, your left hand being secured in a sling. “Don’t give up, Steve. I know it’s going to be rough from now on but eventually, he will come around.”

“What about you?” Steve asked.

You shrugged. “We’re still fugitives. And I heard Wakanda is beautiful during that time of the year.” You smirked.

Steve raised his brows.

“T’Challa came to apologize, said that he let vengeance consume him after his father's passing -- may he rest in peace now -- and he regrets trying to hurt Bucky.” You smiled bitterly. “So he offered to help us. Did you know he was the one who delivered that Zemo guy to Ross? If it wasn’t for him, he would have slipped through our fingers.”

Steve slowly nodded at your words, thoughtfully taking in the informations.

“So you’re saying the _King_ of Wakanda apologised in person for something he didn’t do but wished he did before learning from his misjudgment?”

“Unreal, right?” You chuckled. “Not everybody would have done that.” You involuntarily glanced at the letter on the table, Steve catching you doing so.

Steve folded the letter and placed it inside the parcel as well as the phone, he froze and you looked up, “Steve?”

“It’s nothing.” And closed it. “Wakanda, uh? What does Bucky think about it?”

“You could ask him yourself,” Came the groggy voice of Bucky behind you. Alpine trotting right behind him. 

“Rise and shine, sleepyhead.” You teased. “I’ve never met somebody who liked to sleep for so long before.” 

“You kinda learn to cherish it after being deprived of it.” He rubbed his eyes and bent down to kiss the top of your head.

“Morning, Buck.” The boys exchanged a smile and Bucky sat down at the table, stealing your coffee after having picked up Alpine and placing her in his lap. The cat let out a meow and settled comfortably, already ready to continue his morning nap there.

Bucky had adjusted from losing his metal arm and having to use only his right one at all times. It was a slow process but you encouraged and helped him through the most difficult tasks. He hated having to depend on you but you didn’t leave him a choice, you were stubbornly patient. 

“What’s your thoughts on Wakanda?” Steve asked again but at Bucky this time.

“Honestly, I don’t care where I am as long as I am with her and we’re safe.” Bucky looked at you and you found yourself blushing slightly under his stare. “I would follow her whatever the price.”

You pressed your palm against your cheek, feeling the heat there, and heard Steve huffing, collecting his belongings.

“She’s got you on the ropes, pal.” Steve teased Bucky.

“That’s because I let her.”

“Sure.” Steve laughed. “Keep telling yourself that, Bucky.”

“He’s hopeless.” You said, referring to the man you were in love with sitting beside you.

“You’re ganging up on me, that’s two against one, there!” Bucky whined.

“I don’t think it stopped you before, if I recall.” Steve put his empty mug in the sink and turned to the both of you. “Alright, I have to go.”

You stood up and pulled Steve in a crushing hug, you were going to miss him. “Please thank Sam for everything he did.”

“I will.” he nodded and you got on your tiptoes, dropping a kiss on his cheek. 

You let Bucky give his friend a one-armed hug in his turn, “Thanks, Steve.”

You walked Steve to the front door and he stopped in the doorway, looking serious all of a sudden.

“You know, If they find out you're both out there... they'll come for you.”

You smiled sweetly at him, speaking lightly as you looked at him with bright, calm eyes.

“Let them try.” 

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on tumblr @ kidney-bean-writes :) come say hi!


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